Anger

Nine more days until I go to the Sault. I cannot wait to get a break away from all of this. Away from my house, my relationship, my job, everything. I just need a break. I hate how sometimes people consider "breaks" to be a negative thing. Can't I feel overwhelmed by it all without being considered hateful towards it? I need to be with my family to have time to figure things out. I know what I am going to do about school, but I am having issues with two big significant parts of my life- me as a research and me as a partner. I want to focus on my studies and I do not have the time to be in a relationship. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose the one I have or hurt the person who I love, but I cannot be fully focused on contributing. My second issue stems from a personal anger and hostility I am feeling toward my boss. I am feeling resentment towards my research group and really really do not want to continue to be involved. It is so bad to say because she has done nothing but good for me.. Ann reassured me and said, "No Linda, you are not a bad person. You are a human." I can't shake the guilt of not wanting to be around her... It's a confusing time and I hope a month out of this fucking city will help me get my head straight..

xxx.